Guilty for something arbitrary?
Regret?
It's scary.
I don't want to sleep tonight. Even though I may be tired, my racing mind is what is keeping me awake. I don't want this anymore.
A few days ago, I went with Eliza to pick up her stepdad. It was at a small airport, where Obama had taken off just that morning. We had the biggest and most colorful sign there.
It was fun, but I found out that a lot of army people don't like cupcakes...
Yesterday I went to Anandamela with Divya. Anandamela is an Indian festival by the city hall, and it's pretty big. Not as big as Derby Days, but still huge. We also saw Alka there.
Because Divya moved to a new house, she invited me to sleep over. Her new house is HUGE AND IT HAS THIS BIG PRETTY KITCHEN AND A BIG PRETTY MASTER BEDROOM AND it's just really pretty and big and clean. The only bad thing is that the previous owners didn't take very good care of it, so there were three "mom"s written in sharpie on the wall in her sister's room.
I used to be scared of nighttime. Darkness, death, I dreaded losing people I love for reasons I cannot conceive of.
I think it may be coming back.
Ah... Relay for life... That was an interesting day. That's Julian and Atticus doing the romeo and Juliet kiss.
And the straw.
Izzat big enough?
Drawing derpy eyes is really fun.
The other day, I was at Eliza's house, watching the opening ceremony for the Olympics. My cat allergies started acting up. Then something got in to my eye. And it swelled up. And it hurt. When I got home, I found this weird long glob in my eye. Maybe my eye produces those when my allergies act up. That was probably my most unattractive moment. Can't breathe through my nose, one eye swollen more than the other, huffy, wearing all white... ^.^
You know, I still don't know when I'm supposed to go to Chinese Immersion camp. I don't want to though.
Maybe drawing is a good way to prevent my mind from wandering at night.
I look so...ugly in the kindle picture. Does the Welcome Home sign say "Kit" or "Xit" at the end?
ReplyDeleteKit! How many people do you know whose names start with X?
DeleteAllison is so positive! I love how this post was nothing but how awesome life is!
ReplyDeleteWhy... is... the... straw... being... eaten?
Siiiiigggghhhh. Heehee I like the Kindle picture. Mimi. You are not ugly.
Oh and to the questions at the beginning, YES! I think everyone has, unless they don't live.
Thank you for drawing the straw. I think it was my vote which changed the outcome, so I'm happy that you draw a straw. why is the straw in pain though? shouldn't a straw be happy? I like happy straws, they are way more fun.
ReplyDeleteAnd I have to agree with Julia, everybody has these feelings. It gets better though. I started with Latin as my first foreign language in 5th grade (where I was rather good up until I stopped studying), and had to start English in 7th grade. I remember being super scared of English for no reason, and losing sleep over failing English. I did well in English, too. Then later, each year I would have sleepless nights (or at least be awake for a long long time) because I was afraid that I would fail the GPA requirement to advance to the next year. German schools are kind of tough in that regard, but I was really paranoid. But it was only at night, and during the day I didn't think much about it... and I believe at that time I was never in danger of not meeting the requirements :)
And the feeling of guilt is the worst. I would just feel guilty, like I had done something really really bad, but there was no reason.
Perhaps the brain is trying out feelings during that age? no idea.
Anyway, your blogpost reminded me of my sleep deprived nights. Oh, I used to be super scared. For example scared of being kidnapped and my parents not being able to pay the ransom. Or that I would be sent to a boarding school... even though my parents wouldn't have been able to pay for one.